Reply to Access to kids, why do you feel entitled?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m the mom, I’m in charge. If you’re nice to me and recognize that then you can see the kids.

Op I agree with you. I want loving people in my children’s lives, but if they can’t comprehend the basic rule that they have to be nice to me and work with me in order to see my kids, then they can eff off.

[/quote]

Yeah, who cares if my husband wants his family to have a relationship with MY kids! They must kiss the ring if they want me to allow them access to MY property, er...kids!  :roll: [/quote]

It’s really very basic though. You can’t badmouth me and openly despise me and then expect I’ll let you see my kids.

I won’t tolerate it from my own family and I won’t tolerate it from DH’s family either. [/quote]

You're actually doing your kids a favor on this one.  If they're hostile to your face, they're probably also making all sorts of comments behind your back, and trust me, it isn't fun to be a child under the (even temporary) charge of adults who are openly badmouthing your parents.   It's really uncomfortable, at best...and not sustainable over the long-run anyways, so there's no point in having your kids invest family-time into this type of relationship.

As a child, I didn't really understand why one of my mom's siblings made snide remarks about my mom.  At that point in time, it wasn't openly hostile, but it was still passive-aggressive enough that I could pick up that something was 'off' (and I wasn't a particularly sensitive or perceptive child).  However, I just didn't have the social skills at that time to really know how to respond. I didn't spend a lot of time one-on-one with this relative, but the times that I did were memorably uncomfortable.  As an adult, I no longer have a relationship with this relative since I have no desire to spend any time with a relative who is openly hostile to my parents.[/quote]

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