Reply to how to help mentally ill brother, his wife who is sick of it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this thread shows the stigma of mental illness. Telling OP not to offer to help, to not offer support, to say out of it, to not engage, to not get involved in any way.

Listen to the poster who suggested contacting NAMI - they are much better suited to connect you to services and to help you navigate this than a board of people who are acting like mental illness is a horrible character flaw.

Any serious illness can be very difficult on a couple and it isn't strange or a lack of effort or poor character that are the reasons why SIL or brother are struggling. Mental illness (especially with no family support) is really, really hard on families, couples and individuals. You don't just man up and get over it.

The main priority should be getting brother a proper thorough assessment / diagnosis and getting into the treatment program that is best for his condition to figure out how to best manage / treat whatever he has. If your parents can help financially, it can go directly to treatment.

Selling the house in the middle of a mental health crisis would not be a good idea. Nor would taking the child out of stable child care.

OP please contact NAMI or other mental health for family resources in your area.

I also have a brother with mental illness. He is now properly treated and is employed in a stable low stress, still married and a great dad - although it wasn't always that way. We stuck by him through it all, just like we did when my sister had cancer. He still needs to live life in a way that allows him to manage his illness and we support him in that. Remember your brother didn't choose to have a mental illness and isn't just being a difficult, weak person[/quote]

Wow, did you read the thread? Sounds like you’re seeing things that aren’t there.

First, his doctor is not convinced that he has bipolar at all.
Second, OP sees for herself that his bipolar meds aren’t working and are actually making him a lot worse.
Third, it’s really only the wife who insists there’s something wrong with him.
Fourth, he wants a lower stress job/life but she won’t let him do that because she needs him to bankroll her life of leisure and no responsibilities.[/quote]

Oh, and that the wife had her mother come stay in their house against his wishes making him so uncomfortable that he literally goes to stay in a hotel amid a financial crisis when they simply can’t afford it is also emotionally abusive. You just can’t do that in a marriage.[/quote]

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