Reply to accepting that sister doesn't like me and we will never be a "family"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing that struck me most from your post OP was that you didn't count her plans with her neighbors/friends as being "busy." I have a perfectly good relationship with my siblings (not super-close, but definitely friendly), but if they invited my family to do something when I already had plans with neighbors/friends, I'd tell them I was busy without thinking twice about it. I think you are looking for problems if evidence that your sister (gasp) had fun without you is the last straw/evidence that she lied to you/you will never be friends. Why wouldn't it just be evidence that she was, in fact, busy? It's not like she posted photos of her cleaning out her sock drawer or messages about how bored she was? I genuinely don't get it.[/quote]

Because they are always with their friends and neighbors. If she liked us a little bit, we easily could join in the fun.[b] She didn't have plans with them. They are always just there. It wasn't anything formal[/b].

She told me she was busy at work all day. Then, she posts all the photos of the kids in the yard playing. We could have been there, but she didn't include us. And I'm sorry if that is needy, but it hurts.

[/quote]

Not pp, but I see why your sister might not like you. You seem fraught with judgment, not just neediness. OP your sister probably likes her neighbors because they're low maintenance and don't need a lot of planning or organizing and are thus are more enjoyable to kick back with.

Also, some people like to keep some circles separate. It's just easier that way. Find your own circle of people. [/quote]

I don't understand how to explain myself without sounding "judgy". I was just saying that the neighbors are always there. She didn't invite them for a party or private playdate. She didn't have plans with them or was busy with them. They are always there. We are never there. How can I express that in a way that makes me sound hurt, and not judgmental? I don't know. But that is what I am trying to do. [/quote]

Offer to come pick up her kids and take them to a nearby park with your kids to play while she gets things done.  The problem is you are trying to commit her to spending half a day with you when she already has more than she can handle going on.  Help her out.  Or don't.  Just drop the wounded, neglected victim routine because that is not going to make her want to see you.

FWIW, I'm a SAHM and even I would have a hard time doing what you are suggesting.  Make it easy and it will stop being so hard.[/quote]

What am I suggesting??? She is already home all weekend with the kids playing in the yard. I know because she sends me photos. I'm not asking her to cook, or drive. Just, to hang out. The kids and my kids in her yard, which is what they are already doing. She doesn't want me to take her kids because the weekend is the time she has with them. And don't say she wants 1:1 time with them and not us, because the neighbor kids are there the whole time too. [/quote]

You must not have neighbors/friends like this OP. It’s super informal and nothing like hosting.[/quote]

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