Reply to accepting that sister doesn't like me and we will never be a "family"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op please listen to my take.  I have a sister who also stays at home and has similar age kids...she too lives about a half hour away.  She really under estimates how limited my time is.  I get home at 5, we have religious school one evening a week, each kid (3) has a sport/dance another weeknight and then we have weekend games. So on my best weeks I have extra curriculars 4 times a week and 2-3 times per weekend.  That doesn't include my middle son who also does after school tutoring twice a week.  If I am hanging out with my neighbors on Saturday evening its because we all just got home after a long day running in-between soccer fields and we threw some hot dogs on the grill. By the time I grab my phone to text you to come over the entire event would be almost over. Its literally just playing with the neighbors while we grill dinner..nothing more.   Also beyond my kids schedules I have to cook, pick up dry cleaning, try and date my husband occasionally, work out 3 times a week is my goal but it ends up being twice a week most weeks. Don't get my started on hair cuts...its a shit show the week my kids all end up needing hair cuts.  I don't want to make this a stay at home debate but I think its hard for moms who don't work to really understand what our lives our like. My sister also has an urge to "get out of the house" (she usually that phrase all the time) and I honestly that the opposite urge...to get back home![/quote]

DP here with a similar schedule and I get it. [b]However, if it were actually a priority, sister could have invited OP and her family over to just generally hang out. It doesn't have to be some big thing. If you are grilling dinner and eating dinner, you can do that with family if you are so inclined. The fact that OP's sister is not so inclined is what is apparent. [/b]

We have friends whom we rarely see because for them everything has to be some big planned event and it's hard for us to do that frequently. We have others we see all the time because they are fine with just coming over for a couple hours if we all have some free time, or saying "hey, why not bring the kids back to our place for dinner after Hebrew school" or whatever.  If OP's sister wanted to see OP, she could simply say "hey, why not come over on Saturday and we'll all hang out, or you can stay with all the kids so they can play while I run errands, and then we'll grill." [b]But she doesn't want to see OP (which is her prerogative, of course) and so she has time for everyone else but not OP[/b].[/quote]

OP here and this is exactly it. I'm learning how to come to terms with it. It hurts, of course. No matter the nuances of our past and my attitude and whatever, it hurts when you come to terms with the fact that your family member doesn't like you or want to see you. No matter how that came to be.

(adding, we do not need to be a priority. We'd just like to see them, NOT for a big party or big event. We'd like to hang out, casually, whenever. I love her children and it'd be nice to have a relationship with them). [/quote]

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