Reply to Telling your daughter she’s pretty every now and then- good thing or bad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have to parent for the world we are in and not the world you wish we were in. In this world, women are judged by their looks and you want your daughter to feel good about herself. I do not say that with snark. I had planned to never say anything about looks but I had a light bulb moment a few years ago. It's just as important that your daughter knows you think she's pretty as it is that she knows you think she's smart, strong, kind. Let her know. [/quote]

So the fact that we live in a racist world means you would point out to your child that it's great that she's white?

If there are things you don't like about the world you live in, you don't shrug and go along. You unpack it for your kid and explain why you don't talk about looks and instead focus on what you admire about your child is how determined she is, or how patient, or any of a host of traits that indicate choices and character rather than the luck of the genetic draw. [/quote]

Haha, what? You're nuts. Telling my daughter she's pretty (regardless of whether she's objectively gorgeous or not) is not the same thing at all. Well, good luck with that strategy. Your daughter will go away with the message that mom had to spend so much time focusing on other things because DD is so ugly.

Even if you tell your kid she's beautiful, she may stop believing you in her teens. But at least you've said it and said it when she's dressed up and when she's coming off the soccer field a sweaty mess.

I'm a huge feminist and believe me, I never thought I would compliment my daughters on their looks. But it is important in the world we live in. And doubly so for my kids, who are a minority and don't look like the classical definition of beauty. I'm not going to help give them a complex about their looks to prove a point. Society will do a good enough job of that. [/quote]

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