Reply to Telling your daughter she’s pretty every now and then- good thing or bad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am feeling pretty depressed by the focus on looks.

I do acknowledge, jokingly, when my kids have put some effort into their appearance: "Wow, you clean up nice!" "Oooh, very sharp!" [b]but I would never tell them that, in effect, their innate physical appearance conforms to conventionally accepted standards. [/b][/quote]

Excuse me while I vomit.  Your poor kids.  [/quote]

My kids are gorgeous, funny, kind, and smart AF. I'm showing them what I value by what I comment on.

As are we all.[/quote]

Do you value therapy?  Because those kids are going to need it.  
[/quote]

I don't understand; what is PP doing wrong? [/quote]

Intentionally refusing to tell her kids that she thinks they are beautiful.  When I tell my child she's beautiful, I don't mean "your innate physical appearance conforms to conventionally accepted standards."  I mean, "You are beautiful to me.  Your smile lights up the room and makes my heart hurt a little because it's so lovely."

It's also possible to tell your child that they are pretty every once in a while, and that they are smart, or funny, or kind, or brave, or creative, or resilient, or whatever other positive quality they have even more often.  Deliberately NOT telling your children that you think they are beautiful seems so unkind.  Why deliberately withhold a compliment?  From anyone?[/quote]

Precisely.  Why *wouldn't* you tell your children they're beautiful, along with smart, kind, funny, etc.?  Deliberately leaving that out is just plain mean.  [/quote]

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