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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I SAHMed leaving a well-paying but a soul sucking job. There are some things that I negotiated with DH since he was the one who was begging me to SAHM because of his career and travelling.

- I was never going back to work. I put this condition because I knew leaving my job meant that it would be very difficult to get back at the same position. I would have had to start at entry level.  Having said that, I will go back to work when I want, but without any pressure to do so.

- DH was responsible entirely for retirement and college. I wanted to know how much my puny by comparison pay mattered to our finances.  Evidently, not much!

- I would retain all domestic help that I had in place when I was a WOHM.  This was so that I was actually spending time with the kids instead of doing chores that I never liked to do and which I knew would make me very resentful.

- I wanted financial protection - insurance, joint everything etc.

Once all of that was in place. I quit. I filled my kids days with the kind of enrichment that I wanted them to have - museums. trips, parks, arts and crafts, hobbies, sports etc. And I gave my whole family and myself a break by making sure that the outsourcing of chores was enabling all of us to have quality time with each other.

Regarding how others viewed me - I did not care. It  was not as if I was unaware of the challenges of being a WOHM and being an office worker. I was not going to fall in that trap.

As far as socializing was concerned - I have my pet projects, causes, hobbies and friend circle.  I also started to take a bunch of community college courses for the sheer fun of learning and of course there is volunteering in my kids schools.

This is truly a personal decision. If you hate being at home or with kids or will become anxious/depressed/isolated, please don't stay at home.  Working or staying at home  - neither will make or break your kids.  Children from homes with both WOH or SAH parent(s) are equally successful. [/quote]

Did you do a post-nup?  It sounds like you’re protected in case he dies, but holding everything jointly doesn’t help you much if he divorces you.  I know four people who just in the past six months had their husbands up and leave without notice after their wives had been home 10+ years.  The spousal support agreements they’re negotiating are good for the next 8-10 years, but only for living on and not enough to save toward retirement or anything.  Now they’re scrambling to find jobs and frustrated that they’re in such shitty financial positions long-term.[/quote]

yeah but you're forgetting that in community property states you split assets acquired during the marriage. In states where fault comes into play, the wronged wife can walk away with more than 50%.

I mean, I'm assuming we're all talking about very privileged people here with millions of dollars in assets.[/quote]

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