Reply to If you cheated and stayed married

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
NP here. I think the reasons you cite ... "it felt good" "It made me feel young" and most importantly, "I wanted to step away from real life, this husband, and challenging children and have some uncomplicated, selfish me time ..." resonate with me. I have excuses, of course. I have some resentment directed at my husband for action/behavior that let me and our family down. I'm still married, but shouldn't be. I'm still married, but not a loving wife. I'm still married and faking it much of the time. Husband is a fine person. No plans to divorce. Hoping I'll curl out of the U-curve of unhappiness and discontent soon. [/quote]

Whatever you do, please model respect towards your DH. I lived in a home that the two people showed in little tiny ways just how much contempt they had for each other. It really f-ed my up. Yes, my parents stayed together, but it still damaged me. The goal isn't to have an intact family. It's to have a happy loving intact family. I would suggest reading some John Gottman books. Maybe even go to a weekend workshop (given by Gottman trained therapists). Your children deserve to see two parents who love and respect each other. [/quote]

There is plenty of overt respect. We work well together as a team and don't share any discontent and definitely don't trash talk each other. Yes, we are intimate.

I just don't feel it is real.[/quote]

Why doesn’t it feel real?

From what you’ve said here, that sounds like a you-thing not an us-thing. [/quote]

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