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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to develop better parenting tools.  What is your plan for if this happens in the future?  Why is he afraid to fail a test?  What will you do to him then?

You said "I had to smack him."  You need to take a good hard look at yourself.  People here tend to encourage parents to forgive themselves and let it go, etc.  No. What you did is abusive.  [/quote]
eh.. we all make parenting mistakes. I'm sure the kid is no worse for wear.  Did OP smack the kid on the face, on the behind, upside the head?  Those are all different, imo, and I actually did experience some abuse as a kid.  I can tell the difference between actual abuse and a smack on the backside.[/quote]

I have never made a parenting mistake that ended in my getting physical with my kid.  And she's 16 so I think if it were going to happen, it would have already.  I was also abused as a kid, which is a big part of why I swore I would never hit my child.  I have dug my nails into my palms, I've screamed, but I refuse to physically intimidate or hurt my kid.

BTW, the child psychologists who say "Well if you MUST spank, I guess it's KIND of okay..." always say it should NOT be done out of anger.  The point is to discipline.  The latin root of "discipline" is pupil, or more broadly, to teach.  The point of discipline of any kind, should be to teach.  What OP's son was taught this morning is that his mom lost control and lashed out physically at him. Let's not sugar coat abuse.[/quote]
screaming at a child can be worse than a smack on the backside. Did the child pscyh not tell you that?

For all you know, this is the one and only time OP has ever smacked her kid. No child psychologist will tell you that this will have a negative impact on the kid.

But now the kid knows never to miss the bus.
[/quote]

I agree there are a whole lot of ways to abuse a kid besides spanking.

With my ds, who  was later diagnosed and had serious tantrums and time out really did not work, for awhile we did a blanket wrap that I had once been trained in while working with developmentally disabled people. We hated it, he hated it, we finally asked if he would prefer a spanking or the blanket wrap, and he chose the spanking. The wrap did NOT cover his head or face and was NOT tight enough to restrict breathing (only flailing) but it was very, very upsetting to him.

Honestly, I don't know how we survived those years, except I eventually learned that the best response to his meltdowns was to get up, walk out the door, and he would follow (his rages also included a lot of anxiety so he did NOT want to be left alone). Luckily there were no other kids involved.        [/quote]

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