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[quote=Anonymous]I think there are a lot of people like OP who are into the "me, me, me".  And I think it is very wrong.

OP is collecting RSVP's and planning food for the shower.  OP gets acknowledgments from her SIL's about her shower, but doesn't give it back.  If one SIL sent her regrets that she would be out-of-town, that is acknowledging the shower.  Did you send back a comment that you're sorry she can't make it and she will be missed?  The other SIL sent a box of gifts.  Did you even send your thanks for the gifts?  Seems like you also dropped the ball on courtesy by not acknowledging them.

I go through life appreciating the things that are done for me and my family and not bean-counting what is and is not done for me.  There are many people that I do positive and nice things for that don't necessarily reciprocate in kind.  I do things not only for the people who do kind things for me, but also for the people I like.  I do them because I like them, not because I feel I owe them something and I certainly don't feel someone who I've done a kind turn for, owes me anything.  My siblings have double standards.  When their children were young and I was single, I was expected to come to visit them and to adhere to their school schedule.  Now, years later, I have young children, but they don't come to visit us and they don't really pay attention to our school schedule.  Not really something to get bothered over.  We go to visit them when we can and we decline things that don't fit our school schedule.  Life is too short to have expectations of others and have negative feelings when someone doesn't meet our expectations.  I live my life, do good things when I can and appreciate what is done for me.  Otherwise, I keep my expectations low for others.  My father taught me that when you have time and resources, do things for others.  When you don't, others will do things for you.  I have been blessed with a wonderful group of friends from many walks of life and different parts of our lives.  When we have been in need, someone has popped out and helped us.  It isn't always a person who I've helped or done a kind turn to, it may come from the least expected quarter, but often friends step up and help.  And when they don't, my spouse and I rely on each other.

I don't carry these times of grudges and I'm much happier for it.  I think more people need to stop having expectations of what others are supposed to do for you and just live your lives, and appreciate whatever comes.[/quote]

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