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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here for the first few years of my marriage I never checked on husband and the thought never occurred to me to ever look in phone or email; fast forward a few years and I get a call from a man complaining my husband is having affair with his wife; holy shit, I was floored and surprised; my DH and I have worked through it but [b]he will NEVER be entitled to total privacy again[/b] and once the trust is lost it is lost.

My point is the operative part of their question is that DH is not cheating and you are checking anyway; but for anyone who has been betrayed in past by DH even if they are not cheating now I think it would be hard not to check occasionally ; [/quote]

LOL!!!  That is hilarious.  Y'all ain't worked thru jack squat if your respective roles have shifted from husband & wife to ex-con & parole-officer.  Sounds like you two have got a wonderful relationship  :roll: 
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We definitely don’t have a wonderful relationship at all but are tying to make t work as we have kids - thanks for your judjemental value though LOL - we may even consider an open marriage but my point is that once trust is lost you can’t regain it back so easily - my point also is that I would NEVER have thought I would be someone checking emails/phones but be careful thinking you wouldn’t do it - that is pure hubris [/quote]

I agree with you. You were nice enough to give him another chance, goes without saying you will be checking on him. If he has nothing to hide he won't care.  Plus why on earth would you care if a spouse looks at your emails or your phone? My spouse can look anytime.  Being secretive is a red flag.

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