Reply to Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Divorce is evil and causes so many additional issues that reverberate for generations.  Dont say anything OP[/quote]

I’m not going to say anything. I’d rather be the one to feel bad instead of DD.[/quote]

I would be upset too, but would it help to reframe it? Think of it as people who can their in-laws mom and dad. My SILs do it to my mom  and I admit it feels weird to hear it each and every time. But it certainly doesn't impact their relationship with their own moms because they're very close.[/quote]

OP here, even though I never referred to my ex MIL as "mom", I know people who do that with their MIL's. I never really looked at it that way. Thanks for giving me another perspective. [/quote]

On the other hand, my MIL wanted me to refer to her as Mom and I wouldn’t.  It made me very uncomfortable.  I have a mother and don’t need or want a second one. That said, I liked my MIL and wanted to have a good relationship with her.  But suggesting I call her Mom felt invasive and boundary crossing.  Fortunately, as an adult I had enough independence to refuse this.  As a child in a house with a parent’s second spouse, I would not have felt comfortable refusing and would have probably used Mom and feigned cheerfulness. So much of a divorced child’s continued  relationship with a parent depends on accepting the new spouse. [/quote]

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