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[quote=Anonymous]I describe my parenting style as "leave no man behind." Which means, to me anyway, that I expect my now-teens to have the skills and the drive to do what needs to be done, but in a crisis I'll do what needs to be done.

In terms of what constitutes a crisis, it's NOT "I didn't do a damn thing for the last 4 months on my science fair project and now it's due in a week!" But right now we are dealing with some pretty major health stuff with one my kids and because of that I'm dealing directly with the school a lot to make sure that they understand what my kid can realistically handle in this moment and what has to go by the wayside. Once we get an all-clear from the doctors (which is thankfully on the horizon), I'm stepping back and handing the reins back to my kid.

That said, because they are teens, I don't expect them to be perfect but I also don't expect to do their thinking for them. So I do check in daily about things like homework but I don't go online and look at assignments, because that's their job. I do ask them if they have what they need when they leave in the morning but I don't go through some big checklist or check for them. And as they get older I'll back off on these things too.

Self-sufficiency is like any other skill, it takes practice and repetition in order to be good at it. As far as I'm concerned, it's the single most important skill necessary for a happy and productive adult life. If you can't meet your own needs, solve your own problems, and advocate to get what you want, how can you ever accomplish anything?

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