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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I understand it takes 2 people to support being a sahm.   After awhile, how much more money is enough?  It doesn't seem enough for my husband but it's enough for me. I would rather stay home and spend time with my young children as well as working on my mental health.  Divorce is the last resort but a marriage of resentment and unhappiiness isn't a much of a better life.     [/quote]

How old are your twins now? How long have you been back at work? These are real issues you are struggling with but when I went back to work after having my twins (who had health issues and a LONG hospital stay), there were more days than not that I fantasized about divorce. And frankly, my husband was doing the same. Not before or after did we both feel so ready to toss the other out the window. It's a big hormone filled exhausting cluster those few months.

So, frankly, it sounds as if you are both being overly dramatic. He is being a baby insisting he needs this fancy new house now. He doesn't but he likely feels kids have changed all his life and lifestyle, he deserves his life and fancy things dammit, and he's too tired to be rational about why he can't build a house he doesn't need right now.

And, you are likely being a bit melodramatic about the health issues. Though, PPD is real and you should be seeing someone if you feel you might have it. You have money. You will be okay getting through this first year and then the second will be easier and then at 2.5 twins will be easier than two kids of different ages. You want to quit your job but like he can't build his fancy house, that's not reasonable for your family right now. (Though, seeing about 1 month of extra leave might be.)

But I would STOP arguing to him that you don't need your income while also arguing you can't afford his house. Those thoughts don't make sense put together. You are saying you two have enough money to do what you want but not what he wants.

First priority, tell him maybe in a year you build a house but now you are in survive twins mode. Make a list and divide. If you he wants you to work, fine. He pays the bills while you pump. Etc.
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