Reply to PSA: Inviting friends/family to celebrate your birthday at an expensive restaurant

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree that it's rude, and I also agree that it seems that a large number of people don't think it's rude and do it. I agree with other PPs that the problem is that it often isn't clear when the invitation is made what kind of event it will be. I also think that if the host picks an expensive place and expects everyone to pay their own way, then they should not feel offended if people decline. It also depends on the context and the invitation, and the group of friends. My close group of girl friends and meet up for dinner fairly frequently, and will try to arrange dinner for one of our birthdays. But because we all go out together all the time, the birthday dinner is just like the others and we all pay our own way. The birthday girl will probably pick the restaurant on that occasion, but she'll pick knowing the usual budget and everyone's likes and dislikes and dietary requirements.

On the other hand, a few years ago a different friend of mine wanted to celebrate her  birthday with lots of people at an afternoon tea at an expensive hotel in London - tea with champagne etc would have been around $100 each. I was 26 at the time, working a low-paid job and I don't even like afternoon tea. I felt bad about it for ages but I eventually decided to decline and suggested instead that we went out together another time to celebrate her birthday. I think she was a bit offended but we did have a night out and she got over it. But the whole thing was awkward and unnecessary. [/quote]

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