Reply to PSA: Inviting friends/family to celebrate your birthday at an expensive restaurant

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree, if you planned the event and you're the celebrant, you should pick up the tab.

If you're planning a party at a restaurant for someone else, it's fine to split but you need to be clear about it when you invite people, before they respond. [/quote]

This.  If you invite, you pay.  Inviting people to buy you dinner for your birthday is tacky.  If you're doing it for someone else, you need to be clear about how the bill will be handled upfront, so people can decline if it's not in their budget.  
[/quote]

+1.  What I hate is not knowing what it is expected.  A friend is having a milestone bday at an expensive place in a couple of weeks.  From the invitation, it is unclear if they are picking up, we are all splitting, or if he thinks we are all go to cover his - which is not likely.  It is also unclear how many people will attend, which to a degree influences how reasonable each option would be.

If we are paying all splitting the bill, it is going to become an expensive evening, particularly when you factor in babysitting.  It really isn't how I would like to spend that much money and there would be much more reasonable ways we could celebrate this person's bday.

I guess I could explicitly ask how they intend to pay for things, but then it makes me look like I am fishing for a free meal and making clear cost is why I am declining.  (Maybe the last thing isn't so bad and it would be good for people to realize that some people want to celebrate, but not when it will be hundreds of dollars, but it still puts an invitee in a weird position.)

I just wish the invite were clear and then we could proceed accordingly without wondering.[/quote]

Then open your mouth and ask. "Hey, I'm planning some things out this month. Can you tell me what the bill is going to look like for this event?"[/quote]

Again, this puts the responsibility on the guest. RUDE.[/quote]

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