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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound petty, sorry. Are you planning this stuff and inviting people? It sounds like you are. If so, some of this is a bit of hosting. The rest of it, I could care less is omelne takes my old towel. [b]I always bring extra stuff [/b]b/c that’s my deal, another friend pays more often, and others are fun and we like having them, my kids are easier, etc. Overall, it all evens out. I don’t think you feel that way at all - you sound like a principal. Wby don’t you send some reminder texts or something? Really, you’re already halfway there so go whole hog. [/quote]

Newsflash, defensive moocher: asking your friends if they want to meet up to go skiing does NOT mean you then need to outfit them in ski gear for the occasion. FFS. [/quote]

Yeah, no. I clearly stated that I always bring extra stuff.  Learn to slow down and read. But if I was going to get as worked up and bent out of shape as easily as you and OP do, I would A. stop inviting people to casually do stuff I did not trust to have all their items ready themselves, or B. do stuff alone because I am a raging control freak. If you really go around ruminating about your extra mittens for years, you just aren't the lets all go skiing type unless you have pre-vetted the situation. Know who you are and work with that. Not everyone is like you, with a super clean house and it all organized, and seriously, thank goodness because you sound like a massive PITA.[/quote]

NP, but you started this by calling the OP petty, then doubled-down by calling PP a massive PITA. I am not in the business of buying friends with bar tabs and beach towels. I've worked hard for the money I have, and when I decide to spend some of it I do so deliberately. I buy what I need and keep track of those things. It's called being responsible. I'll gladly throw my credit card down to split dinner without a second thought of who ate what, but I'm not buying everyone's drinks at a bar if I've long stopped drinking myself because you think that pays for the fact I went home with your beach towel once (which, BTW, I would never do). This is not friendship. If you (or others in this thread who take peoples' things and then don't give them back) are so rich that you have total disregard for the fact that these things you take cost your friends money, then count your blessings...and trudge over to the ski shop to pay for your foolishness in the form of mittens at a ridiculous mark up just so your kid can go ski.

Now watch, you're probably going to call ME cheap.[/quote]

I am not PP. I don't think PP is being nice about it but I don't think they are necessarily saying who you are is bad, just to know who you are and act accordingly. If you're the kind of person that is going to be really stressed out and anxious if you invite another family to go skiing and they forget their mittens then you should probably just go skiing just with your family or with a family you know won't do this. It is about setting yourself up for success and no bad feelings.

I am a scatterbrained person and I feel stressed out when I vacation with or do an activity with someone who is a level 10 organized person and who gets anxious if I lose something or can't find something. It just isn't a good match. My dad is super super organized and whenever I slip up on something he will say something like, 'typical larla, are you ever going to get organized??' and the answer is kind of, of course not. I am not a successful adult with kids and I run my house and meet my obligations just fine, I'm probably never going to make it those extra 20 yards to a perfectly organized house and a never forgotten wallet. But that is fine, I just need to make sure I don't do things with people who find that stressful or who will exacerbate that stress in me.[/quote]

PP here, I can't speak for OP but personally I don't care if you are not organized--it means nothing to me that, working in this example, you need to go buy some mittens (though, yes, I might silently judge you for a minute). I still find you fun and want to hang out. I would not say the same if you consistently "borrowed" my stuff without giving it back and then justified it in your head because you think somewhere along the line you paid for something to make up for it.

I think maybe there are 2 things at play here. OP, if you let others' forgetfulness stress you out/make you anxious then that's on you. Don't fix their problems for them. It's probably in your head that you think they were eyeing your spare mittens in your car. The discussion I was responding to is a different topic--one of entitlement and tit for tat friendship. [/quote]

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