Reply to Being kind is more important than being right?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Saw this poster on a door at Cooper Middle School in McLean, VA. I did a double take but the more I thought about it, the more irritated I became that this irrational hogwash is being taught to kids without mitigating context.

Yes, *SOMETIMES* it is more important to be kind than to be right. I can think of numerous scenarios where I would teach my kids to keep their thoughts to themselves because it's the right thing to do given the situation.

The issue I have with this poster is that it doesn't make this clarification and therefore is plainly wrong. I find it ironic that it is posted in a school, where we teach our kids to learn facts and reasoning first and foremost. I'm tempted to ask the teacher whether he/she gives all students an A since that's the kind thing to do.

What do other parents think, is being kind more important than being right, always? [/quote]

Yes. I think that if your need to be right causes you to be unkind, you need to examine why it is so important to you to be right. I can imagine any number of situations in which a middle schooler would insist on being right in ways that are unkind. I cannot imagine a situation in which kindness would be the wrong response.[/quote]

OP here. Yes I agree that there are situations where being kind is more important than being right - I acknowledged this in my original post. Your take that you can't imagine a situation in which kindness would be the wrong response rather depends on what you think kindness is. Is telling someone the truth about a situation, such as cutting someone from the sports team, even if it makes them sad, the kind thing to do? [/quote]

I think that cutting someone from a sports team can be done kindly or unkindly. Saying, "I appreciate your enthusiasm for the team, but unfortunately, your skill at XYZ is not at the level the team requires at this time. Over the next year, I would recommend ABCD in order to improve those skills and to try out again next year" is a lot kinder than saying, "You are not good enough to play for this team" and offering no more feedback or information. I think that the poster you saw probably is intended to help middle schoolers learn to be tactful, which is not an innate skill for a lot of children.[/quote]

OP here. It's quite clear that someone can be both kind and right at the same time, or be as kind as possible even if being right will cause some disappointment or sadness to the other person. But the message of the poster is that when there is a direct conflict between being kind and being right, then being kind is more important. [/quote]

Can you give an example of where you think it is important to be right and unkind at the same time? [/quote]

OP here, that's a false dichotomy. You don't need to be unkind just because you are not being kind. You can be indifferent. You don't have to always avoid being right just to be kind. Do you think it is right to give money to every pan handler you see? It certainly would be the kind thing to do, but is it the right thing to do? Are you being unkind to not give money to every pan handler you see? To more directly address your point, the "get off my lawn" refrain is a great example of a case where someone may feel the need to be unkind in order to do what's right, which is to protect their private property, and gentler reminders have fallen on deaf ears. [/quote]

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