Reply to DW angry and stone-walling me after I stayed out until midnight.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always loathe the “she’s hormanal” thing. I didn’t “get hormonal” (although some women do.

This woman is already a 24/7 parent, and it’s time you step up too. She has to watch what she eats, what she drinks, what she does, go to doctors appointments, etc. She’s quietly doing kick counts, planning her hospital bag, and worrying about how she’s going to handle a newborn.

[b]I’m guessing you kind of presented your outing like you were going to Jim Bobs for a quick visit, or a beer or two. That’s why she texted to see when you’d be home. Of course, you already knew you’d be out all evening.[/b] You want to play the “she won’t let me anymore” card, rather than “I won’t grow up” card.

Here’s the thing. Yes, you’re “allowed” to go out until midnight still. BUT - your communication about it needs to change, and your expectations about how and how often you do it has to change. Like it or not... you have a child, and you have a child NOW. What if your wife had gone into labor and you missed the text for two hours? I know you’re thinking it’s unlikely - but like it or not, it’s  far off the realm. You need to step up your game in favor of your wife and family, starting now.

So, like I said, I wasn’t normal during pregnancy. I’m pretty easy going about nights out, etc. But, if you were vague on an outing, then failed to respond to texts, and CONTINUED to be vague, Especially when I was 30 weeks pregnant, id fail to be impressed too. You dropped a major ball.

I’m curious to know how many times this has happened in the past, or recently, or a whole bunch of other things. [/quote]

This.  The reason she thought you might be home for dinner is because you did NOT make clear that you were planning to spend seven hours at your friend's house.  Which is totally inconsiderate.  And it took you two hours to get a text?  Not cool.  THEN you said you'd be home in a few hours, which actually was three hours.  The "I love you" was just fuel to the flames, buddy.  You were out drinking and having fun, while she's home alone and pregnant.  And you can't even commit to being home by a certain time?

I have no issue with my husband going out with friends, etc.  But it's common courtesy to tell the person you live with where you're going and when you plan to be back, and to let them know if there are any changes.  [/quote]

3 is a few. It’s hard to take people seriously when they act like it’s an outrage that someone said they’d be home in a few hours and didn’t get home for 3 hours.

Yes he should’ve been more explicit. Yes, he could’ve communicated better. But she’s no angel in this situation either. Couples shouldn’t spend every moment together at the exclusion of outside friendships. She’s hormonal and uncomfortable I’m sure, but she shouldn’t get away with overreacting and not communicating any more than he should.

And so what if he goes out drinking while she’s pregnant? Really? He can’t have fun while she’s pregnant? I’m sure she had input on that choice. If she wants to go out and have fun, the only thing stopping her is herself. You can’t say it’s okay to have friends but then try to make the other person feel guilty for spending time with them. What kind of adult can’t entertain herself alone for one night? [/quote]

But he didn’t [i]answer[/i] her until after he’d been there 4 hours, which tells me his intent wasn’t clear thre first time. Going for a couple of beers at 5 *may* mean he’ll be home around 8/830 for dinner.

I haven’t seen anyone disagree with him not “going out and having fun because she’s pregnant”; he also has a responsibility to communicate and respond. [/quote]

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