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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are now not feeling so great about what you did and you're looking for validation. How would you feel if the guy [b]just felt too comfortable [/b]but otherwise is a decent guy. What came out of you is that you don't like him and he gave you a reason to let him have it.

Here is what I think.  You may or may not be right about this guy. But you are the type person who feels like you are superior to and can psychologically diagnose people around you. You know that you just exposed who you are to your friends and husband in a potentially humiliating way. Now you are looking for validation to avoid what you will never do which is accept accountability for the damage you to to people around you. This incident is consistent with who you are inside which is not attractive. There were far better and less damaging ways to establish boundries and diffuse the incident but you want to avoid self awareness of your damaging deficiencies. Do you have the guts to have accountability that you are a jerk and that it negatively effects the people around you? Probably not.

I'm struggling to think of a way you can repair your friendship. I think your friend knows you like her but her SO knows for sure that you dislike him very much. I don't see how you can be together again or even be in a group together without drama or discomfort. I think the only thing you could say is something like this. " I am the kind of person who thinks I can diagnose and catagorize everybody but myself. My issue hurts people around me. It's much like being an alchoholic as I am addicted to this lack of self awareness. I'm going to try to be a better person and I have many people to apologize to."

A person who can do that is a person of great substance and value.[/quote]

NP
Do you even hear yourself? Maybe he just "felt comfortable enough" to choke her throat, with enough pressure she could feel it the next day?

Are you insane? SHE is not the problem. He most definitely has a problem, and he escalated it to the point it became a problem for her. That is not her fault. And from what she says, it sounds like she could have pressed charges, but didn't.

This is a very risky situation for the friend.

[quote]https://www.cbsnews.com/news/16-questions-used-to-id-domestic-abuse-victims-likely-to-be-killed/
16 questions used to ID domestic abuse victims likely to be killed

Research has found that men who choked their partners were [u]10 times more likely [/u]to eventually kill them. 
[/quote]

OP needs to keep herself safe, which it sounds like she is doing. Secondly, if she can, she needs to let the friend know of her concern and support, which it sounds like she has. And then keep lines of communication open, if she can safely do that.

She does not need your advice. Jesus Christ. 
[/quote]

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