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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m here to commiserate, OP.

After a multi-thousand dollar mess-up and a blowout fight, DH started on Adderol and finally admitted he has major executive functioning issues. He also had a SAHM and a dad who did everything for him.

Unfortunately I suspect his job gets the benefit of the Adderol, that is, when he even remembers to take it. It’s been a month and I see no changes. We’ve tried therapy. It did nothing. After the fight, I told DH that if he can’t become a functioning adult, he’ll need to move out and learn to live on his own. He wants to function, and he’s trying with the drugs, but I don’t know what’s going to happen. [/quote]
Did he make it through college?[/quote]

OP here... yes, he has a bachelors and an MBA. High GPA for both (higher than mine TBH).[/quote]

I’m a woman and I have adhd. I always had a stellar gpa, 99th percentile for test scores, high IQ, seemingly perfect student. That’s how I slipped through the cracks and wasn’t diagnosed until my 30s. I was also always messy, forgot to turn in homework without prompting (but was usually forgiven because I definitely knew how to do the work), I’d lose things, forget schedules, procrastinate...

It got worse when we had kids. Stress makes coping mechanisms that previously worked become ineffective. I’d miss appointments, forget about pajama or picture day. One time I made DH a sandwich for lunch and I just put 2 pieces of bread in his sandwich container and picked it in his work bag. I sucked, I was scatterbrained, but I was just barely able to get by. I kept the kids safe.

Then I got sick. Recovery was difficult. I had a few surgeries. Stress levels increased. I thought the anesthesia may have affected my brain. I couldn’t follow conversations well. People would talk to me and I wouldn’t even realize it. I was so unreliable because I forgot everything. I got clumsier. I became anxious and depressed. It finally got to the point where I struggled to fill out a field trip form for my kid because I couldn’t process the information on it. I forgot to pay our taxes that year. I thought I had early onset dementia. I talked to my doctor and eventually got an adhd diagnosis. My psychiatrist said the signs had been there all along, and at every stressful event it got a little worse, or seemed worse because my ways of managing the symptoms started failing.

All this to say, I did the same kind of stuff your DH did. A lot. It affected my marriage. The harder I tried, the more anxious I became, and the worse I’d perform. Medication helped significantly. Don’t discount adhd just because he made it through school with flying colors. The fact that he’s smart may have just been what helped mask his symptoms until he became a parent. The fact that he got worse after you had a baby is actually an argument for possible adhd rather than against it. And definitely keep an eye on your child because it’s inherited. Here’s a quick checklist to see if he has enough symptoms to ask for an evaluation. https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/adhd-quiz/[/quote]

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