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[quote=Anonymous]We don’t have enough information to understand the workings  your relationship, but let me make a few assumptions and provide another perspective. Your husband might view you as a very controlling and always expecting things to be done your way. After being unable to live up to your expectation, he is angry. For example, you mention that he puts bowl full of spaghetti sauce into the dishwasher without rinsing. At an earlier point in your relationship, when he was doing dishes, did you ever scold him or try to teach him how you want the dishes done? Perhaps he felt like you were controlling him and over time just gave up and doesn’t give a ***t about doing a good job because whatever he does is wrong. Maybe he screws up  the dishes on purpose so he can use it as an excuse for not doing them anymore so he doesn’t get told what to do.

My wife was incredibly controlling over little things and over the years (she was always right, I was always wrong). I generally just went go with the flow but the resentment built up to anger. For example, I did a few loads of laundry once and didn’t use a dryer sheet so she got annoyed (not angry, just nit picking). I would sometimes wipe down counters with a wet paper towel vs. the antibacterial wipe…more nit picking about why I’m doing it wrong. I didn’t wipe down the dishes completely before putting them in the dishwasher so she would have to come back around me and ‘fix it’. She never yelled at me, but it was like death by a thousand cuts. I started to withdraw from the relationship and just gave up. Fortunately, after some couples counseling, we’re back on a happy path, but it sucked for many years.
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