Reply to Best friend's husband is being ungrateful or are we wrong? WWYD?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I know you mean well, but you are enabling your "friend", or she is using you, or both.  I know someone who lost everything, which is bad enough.  That person hit up a friend of mine for a car, a job, and a place to stay (yes, one person for all of them = $$$$$). The friend has a family of their own to support! Not to mention, the friend helps out family members.  This schmuck was in no way a family member.

The friend (a people pleaser, obviously - as this person was/is well aware) very, very very foolishly gave this person all three. This went on for years, until the friend's wife put her foot down (originally, this was done without the wife knowing, the wife knew the guy was a user and a blow hard, and was having none of it).

This person always had and still has the "look at all you have" attitude toward the "friend".  The friend made every single thing they have on their own, entirely, and it took decades. Countless sacrifices were made by this friend to have what they do - but the guy (you guessed it) had/has NO IDEA what is involved in that type of thing. NONE. At the same time, this person always acted like an entitled pr*ck (one of the reasons his wife and family left him).

Long story short, you can either have money or friendship, never both.  Whatever you do, don't borrow or give money under the guise of "friendship", because as soon as you do, that friendship is gone. Honestly, as soon as you start helping a certain kind (see above) of people out, they will always have their hand extended, waiting for more.  That is how this type is.  Maybe your friend is experiencing that. Just stop. You are not helping her. [/quote]

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