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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nanny was trying to fill kids days with activities. 12 year old chose the first and younger sibling chose the second. 12 year old not happy with the second activity had an attitude all day and proceeded to ignore babysitter and her requests, be rude and disrespectful. 12 year old also tripped and shoved younger sibling. After being reprimanded and told by the nanny that electronics would be banned for the week, 12 year old slaps nanny in the face. Nanny says do not do that. 12 year old slaps her again. Worth to mention that 12 year old is on the very functional end of the autism spectrum, has ADHD and anxiety/depression (is being treated for all the above).

Please don’t be rude with your answers, I’d rather you not answer at all if that’s where you’re going to take it. This is a delicate situation and I just want to get some different perspectives and see how other people would (or think they would) react. [/quote]

Well, don't fire the nanny for being assaulted at work-- but also ask her if she feels safe going forward, because you can't guarantee that this won't happen again. If not, offer to write her a nice reference and give her severance. While you want to give your nanny the option, you may need a serious (not blaming) conversation. Your child has ADHD/ASD and some mental health issues-- he/she is going through puberty on top of it. These things should be discussed candidly because they represent a significant challenge to caregiving- it may be that your nanny chooses to stay on until she finds another job or perhaps, she has a different game plan for heading off this aggression in the future--because, like it or not, that is also part of the equation.

First, your DC should apologize- preferably in writing. Lose electronics long enough to feel the pain, but not long enough to make it meaningless. What really needs to happen is that your DC must go over this with a therapist. Hitting at age twelve is assault, and it's important that you call it what it is- even if you know and I know that your DC has significant struggles, you do what him to take responsibility for his behavior as a first step to not repeating it. [/quote]

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