Reply to Help! DD14 does not want to come with us on family trip

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Keep in mind you're setting a precedent, particularly with a stubborn child. If I let my 14 yr old stay home from a trip like this, younger siblings would also fight for their right not to do boring family vacations when they're 14, and good luck getting that 14 yr old to join in any trip that might possibly have a boring moment in the future.

What was the conflict with her cousin? Is she avoiding taking responsibility for some poor behavior? Or is her cousin a jerk?
If she's avoiding owning up to something she did or said, I wouldn't help her avoid it. If her cousin is a jerk, are other sleeping arrangements possible?

If you stay home with her, is she going to expect to be spending tons of time with her friend? I'd make it clear that if I agreed to stay home with her (which I can't imagine doing), it would be because we are going to be spending the vacation time getting the house into tip top shape. All of those annoying projects that have been being put off would be a priority. She wouldn't be staying home to hang out with friends and binge watch netflix. She'd be helping me sort through my decades old filing and shredding pounds of old bills. It wouldn't be pure misery, I'd do some things with her & allow her some social time. But I would not reward her noncompliance with non-stop fun.[/quote]

This “Ok DD, in that case I am staying home too. Since I already took the time off, I have a list of projects for us to do around the house. The ones with an asterisk at the end are your tasks.” [/quote]

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