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Childcare other than Daycare and Preschool
Reply to "Our nanny backed out of weekend care. Now what?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m the OP. I definitely didn’t mean to offend or upset my nanny. I trust her abilities and she’s been alone with all three many times and does well. I just had last minute jitters and feel more comfortable leaving my kids with two sets of hands instead of one. I sincerely thought nanny would be grateful for the help. Her pay stays the same but less work. My kids are young. 7mo, 2.5 and 6. They’re a handful and I kept imagining scenerios where nanny would need help and quick. I agree, I should have consulted her first. That being said, I think in any job you have to be fairly flexible and know things aren’t always going to go your way. I guess I’m just disappointed in our nannies reaction. Very unexpected. Also my mother is able bodied and sound of mind. She just gets overwhelmed with all three. My mother being present definitely doesn’t add to any duties the nanny has, just relieved her of many. [/quote] OP, you did make a bad, rude mistake. While it may seem like you provided help, you did so without consulting with the nanny. The help you sprung on her unannounced was not requested and is not the type of help that the nanny would appreciate. In many cases, adding your mother increases the work that she has to do. Yes, she has help with the childcare, but she has to accommodate an additional person to feed and she will have to deal with the dynamic of having another responsible person in the house. First, it undermines her authority, as the children have another person to talk to, ask questions and permission from and she has to defer to the grandmother, who is a family member. The children may be more rambunctious with grandma around and may not listen as well. The children may question her more and she can't make the decisions that she would if she were alone as she is more than accustomed to being. Plus it feels like you don't trust her and that is unsettling as well. If you trusted her, you wouldn't have gotten another person involved in the childcare situation, so you have clearly shown that you don't trust her and who wants to work in that situation. In addition to not trusting her, you've placed a watchdog over her to watch and who may report back about her to you. Frankly, if I were your nanny, I would consider it more work adding your mother, . I would expect you to raise the rate for adding another person to be responsible for and to have to negotiate with over the weekend. You have two choices, one if you don't want to cancel your mother's trip, then you should offer nanny a raise. I would say at least 25% of what you originally offered. You're asking a lot of her to add your mother in and you need to make a good faith gesture that you understand that you are imposing on her by changing the conditions of the job. Instead, I would reschedule your mother's visit to a time when you will be home. Even non-refundable tickets can normally be changed to another time for a rescheduling penalty. If you can't, then you should reimburse your mother for the cost of the tickets saying you made a mistake.[/quote] This. You could have offered to the nanny - "would you like me to line up someone to give you a break each day, or to stay overnight with you so you're not alone? what will make the weekend go more smoothly for you?" And she likely would have said "NOTHING, I've got this" Now you've offended her and are blaming her for your mother being offended. What all was in the LONG email she sent you?[/quote]
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