Reply to Why do people care if adult children receive help from their parents/family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I like to be independent. I never take help. I raise my kids, pay my bills.[/quote]

This.  My parents are wealthy. My in-laws are wealthy. We would never accept money from them for anything other than an emergency, which in 30 years of marriage has never happened. The idea of taking money from our families to pay for our kids’ schools or for a down payment on a home would go against everything my DH and I value.  We are adults. We take care of our kids. We pay our bills. I definitely think less of people who accept money from family. We will inherit one day.  But we won’t take money from our families until then. [/quote]

So you think you are morally superior?  This, I do not get. [/quote]

Np and I think this is a morally superior position, yes[/quote]

It's morally superior to not accept help when a family member genuinely wants to provide help? I get it if you just like being independent, but how on earth is it a moral issue if the person providing the money can afford to give it to you and you use it for a purpose they approve of? Going through life without any help whatsoever isn't a morally superior position. [/quote]

Needing help once or twice because of some type of crisis? That is what family is for, totally.

Having a family member support a functioning adult on a long term or semi regular basis? That adult is essentially robbing their family.

There is an enormous difference between let's say, woman who leaves abusive husband with 5 year old who's parents help her to get back on her feet over the course of a few years and who, lets say also help with a down payment and put a bunch of money in kid's college fun, and a guy who works on and off from age 20-50, gets married and divorced a time or two and relies on his parents whenever he can't make ends meet or goes through a cycle of unemployment.

One is a family member in need, one is a leech. [/quote]

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