Reply to Is Division 1 really a worthwhile goal?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our kids were terrible at sports and we were so thrilled about it.  No travel teams etc to ruin our weekends.  We were quite happy to full pay for the elite colleges that they all went to, we could easily afford it, and it was all so stress free.  We always felt sorry for parents whose lives revolved around their kids' athletic pursuits.  It's all so fleeting for the vast majority, then what?  [/quote]

I don't know why anyone would be thrilled that their kids are terrible at something, especially something pretty central to the human spirit.  Sports at all levels are wonderful for what they are - a chance to compete, challenge one's self, develop friendships, teamwork, get exercise, use this amazing body that we've been given.  Many adults play sports for these same reasons.  It's fun!  And anyone can play sports, even non athletic types.[/quote]

I was thrilled because we didn't have to spend endless gruesome weekends traveling to god knows where and dealing with sports obsessed parents.  That's why.  The kids did county league non=travel sports with other non-athletic kids and their friends and got their exercise and jollies that way.  I couldn't imagine having to deal with the whole travel thing.  Sounds like a total nightmare. [/quote]

It is probably for the best you decided for your kids that you couldn't get beyond your own anxieties and prejudices. I wouldn't the other parents to have had to deal with someone like you as another team parent.

However, my mom sounded like you. For years I believed I wasn't athletic, because she didn't want to deal with the "nightmare" of travel sports. As an adult, on my own, I have discovered that in fact I am quite athletic. And I will always wonder what could have been. For my own kids, I went a different path. I tried really hard not to put my own preconceived notions and my own anxieties on my kids, but instead tried to allow them to flourish and find their own path. I also tried to keep an open mind about their interests, even when I didn't get it (see: dance).

FWIW I have a much better relationship with my teens (part of that through travel sports) than I had with my mom as a teenager. And they're appreciative of what we've done for them. And I've discovered that some of my preconceived notions were really off. Dance moms are really nice. Children's theater performances aren't universally painful to watch. Watching your kid excel in something you'd never try is a gift. I am so glad I didn't let my own prejudices block them. It's been a wonderful experience and I'm going to miss it when the last one goes to college.[/quote]

LOL.  Ask my (now grown) kids if they're actually athletic and it's all their mom's fault that they didn't play travel sports and watch them laugh.  I didn't decide that my kids "couldn't get beyond [my] anxieties and prejudices."  I was just blessed that they weren't athletic because it freed up all of our weekends!  And sorry to disappoint but we all get along great as adults.  And, yes, I'm sure you'll miss it when the last goes to college, because that's what happens when you build your entire life around something so inconsequential and fleeting.    [/quote]

My teenage daughter and I spend a lot of our time on weekends dealing with music. We go to music stores. We go to concerts. We go to places she's heard someone is playing she wants to see. We'll drop in to places with live music, just because. There's a local bar that has live music that we go to all the time. She'll ask me to play something for her. She'll play something for me. We'll noodle out a tune to figure out how it's played.

When she goes off to college, I'm going to miss this. I don't think it's inconsequential and fleeting, and I don't think it's different from sports (she used to play club/travel but stopped when she started high school and now plays high school sports).

I think it's odd that you apparently don't have a connection with your children that you recognize is going to be quite different as they age. My husband and daughter connect deeply on photography. He's going to miss being able to do that so easily when she leaves. My son cooks dinner with me almost every night, and often puts together his own dishes. I'm going to miss that when he leaves home. Sports are just another connection. And any activity which involves travel gives a somewhat unique opportunity to bond with your child. When my DD and I go away for a weekend to see a concert, we have each other's attention for the whole weekend. She's not "interrupting" me in the middle of taking care of household tasks, and I'm not "irritating" her when she's in the middle of homework. We're on neutral ground, doing something we're enjoying, together. It's quite a bit different from taking a few hours off on a saturday to go to a local museum.[/quote]

You are right (and sound like an excellent parent) but I don't think probable-troll PP has enough of a connection to her kids to understand that kind of relationship.[/quote]

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