Reply to Stepparents, how much money have you spent on/do you spend on your spouse's children?

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Reply to "Stepparents, how much money have you spent on/do you spend on your spouse's children?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have merged finances, although I do earn about 3/4 of the income. DSS is now in college and we pay 80% of his tuition as well as room and board. I hate to say it to a previous poster, but it’s actually become harder in ways now that’s he’s older. I wouldn’t say I go so far as resent, but I do have different ideas on appropriate levels of support, and not having equal input can be frustrating. For example, DSS is supposed to earn his own money outside of necessities ... but DH is much laxer about giving spending money for meals out, leisure activities, etc. It does get kind of old feeling like I’m being a stereotypical cheap evil stepmom (not that that’s been said - but it’s always the subtext when we disagree) when we are paying more than $70,000 a year and covering a lot of extras already. (Like we pay for car insurance and maintenance, but not gas. We bought a subway pass but aren’t paying for random Uber’s. We paid for unlimited meal plan, but not lunches out) DH is much more likely to approve these random expenses.[/quote]

I couldn't put up with that. I am respectful and civil with DW's children, but I don't think their college tuition is my responsibility. They eat the food I put in the fridge and that is that. I actually think it's better to be cheap and petty. Are you saving for retirement PP?[/quote]

You are not responsible but why marry a woman whose kids you hate.  You sound terrible.[/quote]

I don't hate them, but I don't see why I should pay for their expenses like college and extracurriculars. If DW and I hadn't met, she would have to handle those with her ex anyway. I don't like to feel used. [/quote]

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