Reply to I feel like a burden and I'm exhausted

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My Dad was born disabled missing a fibula in one leg so his leg is much shorter than the other and with no calf muscle. There are plenty of things he can't do but he's never considered himself to have a disability. He's excelled at a ton of things, including some sports, because he has a nothing is impossible attitude. He would tell you that his disability hasn't been a burden and that having to work hard to deal with it has been good for him. One of the reasons my Mom fell in love with him was because he didn't let it affect him in any way. I'm sure he faced some challenges when he was dating because of his disability but he has never spoken about it. He's been an incredible inspiration to many people I know. [/quote]

NP...sorry, but you're missing the fact that disability stigma is gendered. If your dad was born female, he probably wouldn't have met a guy like your mom because those guys really don't exist. [/quote]

Op here, I agree men don't seem to be sympathetic towards disabilities like women are[/quote]

Male here - I was born with a very obvious disability and dating was very challenging for me and very frustrating as it is for OP. What I learned was that I needed to be friends with someone for a pretty long time before any dating interest became apparent. There was no spontaneous combustion! I was good friends with my wife for three years before we ever dated. I can't speak for her but I assume she eventually saw past my disability because I was a nice guy. [/quote]

Also a male and I had the same experience. Since it was well before on line dating I'd meet someone personally. We'd be hitting it off and then when she saw me walking things would often cool off. It was pretty darn frustrating to say the least. But once I was dating someone I never felt my disability was getting in the way. If people were going to do something like going skating I'd simply say I couldn't and my dates were always fine with it. But as pp said, before I ever dated someone I knew them pretty well and so the disability issue was no longer front and center. My only thought for OP is to, if possible, try to get to know someone as a friend before you start to date. [/quote]

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