Reply to Huge age differences in marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not necessarily "suspicious"...but often problematic and unhappy in the long run. When you're both still in the 30-55 range, it can be fine and you don't feel the difference so much. But when the older one gets older, a lot of issues begin to arise and the younger one is generally unhappy [/quote]
This.  It's hard to understand the impact of the age difference when you are younger.  I was quite attracted to older men when I was in my 20s - men in their late 30's.  But I can't fathom being married to a man in his 60's now that I'm almost 50.
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Yes, +2. I know of 3 separate women this has happened with. It's just fine (and maybe even great - I know they enjoyed the financial and lifestyle benefits of being married to someone who was 20+ years into his career from a young age) until the guy hits his 50s/60s. But then he's ready to slow down, and be more of a homebody...and the woman is feeling energetic and in her prime. Especially when there are kids involved, resentment multiplies. The woman suddenly feels like she is married to an old man; the man is tired and resents all that is being expected of him. All three women are deeply unhappy and unfulfilled, and the resentment is palpable. [/quote]

These women are crazy to have children with guys in their 50s/60s. I'm 29yo and I can't stand being around small kids so I understand the resentment. Anyway, what you're describing is simple incompatibility. And it's not always age-related. I'm the younger spouse who is a hermit and hates the sun whereas my DH has to say "Hey, we are doing this event!". So it goes both ways. Another perspective I'll offer: The older spouse is usually retired and has more time at home to contribute as a partner in cooking, cleaning and bonding. [/quote]

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