Reply to If you are very happily married w kids 10+ yrs , tell what you think is the main that makes it work.

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Reply to "If you are very happily married w kids 10+ yrs , tell what you think is the main that makes it work."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Teens divorcing after 20 years of marriage...we had a good life and DH has blown it up with his mid-life crisis that raised its ugly head about six months ago. He doesn’t want to be tied to a schedule according to him....things like being home for the kids is apparently no longer something he wants to do.[/quote]

This is OP, your situation sounds like mine.  I just feel utter confusion.  I also think I'm supposed to be more mad at him but I feel more of the emotion of confusion and sadness honestly.

For the poster on the family life he grew up with, I do think this is a part of our situation.  His family was extremely dysfunctional and I thought he was the example of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps but now I feel like even after so many years on a different path, when it got too hard it was just easy to fall back to their type of lifestyle with all responsibility removed than to keep pushing through the not so fun part.

I guess the moral of that story is really its about who you choose from the beginning not how well you do during.  I'm not perfect, I nag, I yell sometimes and can be bossy but I never thought we had problems that would mean he would just dump me and the life we built.

It's so depressing.  I would also not quit, even now if he'd just go to counseling with me and work on it.  I feel pathetic.[/quote]

Pp here with four kids.  What does your husband do for a living?  I ended up reporting my husbands drug use to his employer, and he was forced into rehab.  He came out with a very different perspective on what was important in life, what he was able to handle, and how to ask for help.  Is that a possibility for you guys?  
[/quote]

That's like calling the cops on your ... wait you basically did just that.... Why would you get your husband in trouble? [/quote]

Because I had small children and I needed my marriage to work.  Plus I love my husband and I didn’t want him to die.  [/quote]

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