Reply to Ashamed about dating a younger man.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I know the age thing is my hang up and not his. I  haven’t had many relationships andjust don’t want to seem desperate.We  actually went out last night dinner and he surprised me with tickets to something  I really wanted to see. I think I’m falling for him in spite of what my brain says. He has so much of what I want/ need in a relationship... he’s just so young. I’d be less concerned if he was even 4 years older.

As for the cougar/sex teasing we actually haven’t gotten to that part yet. Kid of taking it slow in that arena.[/quote]

Remember there are no guarantees about the “goodness/rightness” of anyone.  You could date a guy 4 years older but no guarantees he would be ready to commit or would be a good match.  You keep saying you would be less concerned if he was 4 years older but why?  Has he said he doesn’t want to get married until 30 and no kids until 35 and you are doing the math and realize that doesn’t work? Has there been something specific that makes it seems like he isn’t adulting at 24 (like he is overly dependent on his parents) and you feel on 4 years he would change on his own?

Otherwise, you are basically saying you aren’t happy with who he is and want him to change in some way, in this case to be someone older.  That to me would be the same as him saying that you are a great woman but if only you were 4 years younger (big ouch).  You shouldn’t date someone hoping they could be someone else. If you can’t come up with something concrete,  my only other thought is are you sabotaging yourself like finding something to be wrong so you can’t get hurt or pre-determining the reasoning won’t work like him being too young.[/quote]

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