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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Do not push someone to have bariatric surgery if they're not independently motivated to do so. About a third of people who have bariatic surgery experience "addiction transfer" within the first two years after surgery, where they replace their compulsive eating habits with another compulsive addiction such as alcohol/drug abuse, gambling or shopping. If someone isn't in the right emotional place for that kind of drastic lifestyle change, the end result can be worse than where they were pre-surgery.[/quote]

Did you happen to read the part of my post that said, 1) [u]privately[/u] research bariatric surgery and [u]file it away for later[/u]?   meaning, educate yourself, spouse, but don't say anything.

and (2) OP's husband needs to see a mental health provider, knowledgable in addictions, and this is the subject she should discuss with him?    No?

then you probably also missed the part where I described in lay terms what you've just repeated above, about reward systems and compulsive behavior.

I am glad to see that you support my advice to OP, because it's sound.

I work in the field.  Which is how I know OP has a tough road ahead and why I recommended that she explore separate therapy for herself.  Because — and I hope I'm wrong, but — I don't foresee her DH making meaningful, lasting changes any time soon.

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There is no reason for OP to secretly research bariatric surgery. If her spouse were to eventually decide on his own that bariatric surgery is the right option for him, he's more than capable of doing that research himself.[/quote]

Additionally, as my (obese) husband discovered when he researched the surgery - most insurance doesn't cover it. We were looking at tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket to pay for it. And this was even when his doctor was recommending the surgery.
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They expect a certain amount of lifestyle change before they will even do the surgery.  This isn't one of those things where you get the surgery instead of dieting.  Oh no, you diet before the surgery and then after the surgery you will have restrictions on what/how much you can eat.  People have been know to get the surgery and then figure out ways to still ingest calories.  Any weight that they lose initially they gain right back and then some.

This man does not sound like a good candidate for this surgery at all!  It is not an "easy" way out.  It is a last resort for people who feel that they have no other choice and want to change.

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