Reply to Do I have any recourse in dealing with a bratty nephew?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ To add, I also have a similar activity planned for the nieces/nephews. I know everyone else will love it. I don't know whether to completely and totally ignore him, or tell him he can sit out and stay home while everyone else has fun. I know he wants to spend time with the other kids, but the constant complaining of nothing ever being perfect and good enough to his liking, is getting obnoxious. [/quote]

I have an anxious kid (10) who usually manifests with anger, but she complains a good deal too. Usually she only does it with us and not anyone else; she knows it is socially unacceptable. Here's my take on things:

Tell all the kids what the outing involves and what is expected. Maybe give them a choice or two: "We're going ice skating at 10:30 for a two hour session. This means we'll leave the house at 10 am. There will be a few rest breaks while they clean the ice, and anyone can skate over to the side if they get tired at any point. I hope we can get hot chocolate during one of those breaks. At 12 pm, we'll turn in our skates and get lunch. Do you guys think we should eat at the burger place by the skating rink or hop into the car and drive to Uncle Julio's for lunch?" Take questions and answer them. If anyone has trouble with something and gets complainy, be very matter of fact about it. DD will sometimes threaten not to come; that's fine, stay home. Sometimes she really just wants a big reaction, so I don't give it to her.

Before you get into the car, happily ask "does everyone have earbuds for their phones or have them on silent? If I hear them, it really distracts me. I'll need to take away anything that I can hear." If you end up taking it away, sympathize with him once "I know, it's too bad that phone wasn't silenced and I had to take it away. You'll get it back when we get home." Then ignore and change the subject -- Do you think the redskins will sign Kapernick to replace Alex Smith? How ironic would that be?

As for the food, it is your job to put out healthy food for people to eat. It is the people's job to eat the food. He eats corn, so he isn't going hungry. I bet he also eats rolls and probably milk. He's also 11 and can nuke up some rice if he needs it.

Sympathize with the kid when he complains about something "Oh, it's too bad that 12 pm session didn't work for more people. What was it about that session that appealed to you more? Hey, did you see that lady do those cool jumps?"

A lot o the complaining and anger that come along with anxiety can really get other people down if they take it personally. I've taken the position that it's my kid's way of telling me that she feels bad/worried about something, so I try to use her language to make her feel better. It is weird and exhausting and annoying at times, but it stops me from getting completely depressed every single day.
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