Reply to Is there hope for rebuilding a marriage after an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No.  you will never trust him again.  How ever much you want it to work, every time he works late, every time he doesn't answer his phone, every time he travels, every time he crosses paths with this woman, you will suspect something.  Do you want to live like that?

[b]Affairs are not a symptom of deeper issues in a marriage.  Affairs are an act of emotional violence against ones spouse, the same as any other kind of abuse.[/b]  Don't ever let anyone, therapist or otherwise, suggest you had anything to do with your spouse's decision to repeatedly cheat, lie, and manipulate you.  It's likely your marriage wasn't perfect, but no relationship is perfect.  But no amount of nagging, lack of sex, lack of communication, fill in the blank, justifies the kind of emotional abuse your spouse repeatedly chose to put you through.

If your spouse even hints that you had anything at all to do with the affair, get out now. You are still in an abusive relationship and it will happen again. [/quote]

Yeah. That’s completely wrong. [b]People in happy marriages aren’t out sleeping with other people[/b]. As someone in an affair with a married affair partner, I can tell you my affair was the direct result of my spouses physical and emotional abuse and untreated depression. APs affair was the result of his wife deciding she didn’t want to have sex any more. After a few years he looked elsewhere. We’re both divorcing now. It has nothing to do with wanting to abuse our spouses. Both just in unfulfilling marriages that found what we were missing elsewhere.

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Yes they are. [/quote]

+1,000,000.  Also, DIVORCE BEFORE you find "happiness" elsewhere.  Despite the status of their marriage, cheaters have a problem within themselves.  Though since you are a cheater, you won't acknowledge that.  What you'll do is take your problems to your next relationship and probably cheat in that one too.[/quote]

Total agree - the affair with a married affair partner is the inability to deal with your martial issues and justify it to yourself.  Without you knowing it or not, you are directly abusing your spouse.  When a marriage is unfulfilling, just have the decency to tell your DH.  God forbid their are kids involved.   [/quote]t

The issues of extra marital affairs with justifications need to evaluate the core reason why an affair needs to happen.  Currently, my wife denies a marital affair but it is clear the affair based on the evidence is taken place with a married man.  The reasons are irrelavant but I know she needs to address her short cominings. [/quote]

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