Reply to when (if) to tell kids about their IVF conception?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again.

Geez Louise, you people (well some of you) have strong opinions about this.  And they're quite conflicting opinions.

And furthermore, someone wrote above "Op, I think you're inventing reasons. most people do, they invent reasons when they would prefer to share something but are conflicted."

Lol.  Read my post.  I didn't give any reasons for telling or not telling.  I simply asked the question and OTHER PEOPLE have been giving me reasons for both sides.

****This entire question was brought to my mind by Michelle Obama's IVF revelation.  Because obviously her girls (aged 17 and 20) now know the circumstances of their conception.  
SO I thought, "Hmmm.  I wonder when/if I'll tell my kids?"

[/quote]

OP, I too don't understand why people are having such strong reactions to this -- both ways.  Really, both are reasonable choices, depending on the circumstances and family dynamics.  Our first kid was natural and our second IVF (both biological).  I think I did feel some small amount of stigma from having an IVF baby, although I don't think that was rational, but I can't help how I felt.  Anyway, maybe because of that, we made sure that we told the kid as just part of the natural story of his life, probably starting when he was 3 or 4 with little things like a doctor helped us get you because we wanted you so badly and then, with the first sex ed talk whenever he first asked a question (which I thing was 6), explaining it a bit more then.  In other words, we didn't want it to be a big deal or a big revelation, just something he grew up knowing.  It worked very well for us.   It's not a big deal at all and just another fact in the family.  Neither kid has thought about it in terms of their fertility, and I didn't share any of the sadness and anxiety  and stress of that time, although I will do that as they get older if it becomes relevant.  I now feel no stigma from having an IVF baby.  And I would do the same thing -- tell as if it were no big deal, just one of the many variations on how families form.   Best of luck with whatever you decide.[/quote]

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