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[quote=Anonymous]OP here again. Thank you for all of your responses.  I appreciate the opinions and guidance, and a combination of that - and the hours between last night and now are perhaps what allowed me to keep my cool and not freak out on my DD.

Here's where we are now:

We spoke with DD earlier today and basically said that we took a look at her social media accounts and saw some alarming language and behaviors. I said we'll get into more details later this evening (when the younger siblings are fast asleep), but we thought she needed to be in the loop about the changes happening immediately.

That includes a 100% elimination of all social media and limited phone use.  The latter will likely happen this weekend by way of a phone downgrade to a flip phone, as opposed to the smartphone she has now.

We explained that although it probably feels like a punishment, it is more so a way that we can help her to understand that her online behavior is extremely reckless and that shows that she is not ready to be a part of social media - not yet.

We'll follow up more tonight with her, and get into the deeper discussions about sexual behavior (and its repercussions), healthy relationships, appropriate behaviors, online discussions, and everything else that is related to this situation.

Of course, this isn't a one and done.  In addition to the ongoing conversations with us, she'll also be speaking with some other trusted adults about these same subjects.

To the readers here and previous posters, please feel free to keep this discussion going.  I can't begin to explain how much hearing from you helped me.

FYI:  We are a happy, healthy family.  My husband and I have a healthy relationship and from the outside, you would NEVER KNOW we have a child behaving like this.  We are college educated, hard workers, and very involved in our children's lives.

I say all this to say that this can happen to even the most active, seemingly "perfect" families.  If you don't already, please please please have full transparency with your kids and their devices and social media.  I'm so glad I did. And while I have no idea how things will unfold from here,  just can't imagine if I didn't check in on her online activities.

Any further feedback is greatly appreciated. [/quote]

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