Reply to How to make sure DH and I are not a burden on our children someday when we are elderly?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents (well, my dad) is horrible at this. His parents were awful at this too. They refuse to discuss it in their family and just leave a mess for others.

My maternal grandmother, on the other hand, did this right. Here is everything she did:

1. Made sure she had an income stream--social security and rental income (she pays someone to manager her rental)--after she retired.
2. [b]Moved to a senior living community while she and grandfather were still healthy. When he became ill, they had a care plan, funds, etc. in place.[/b]
3. Has terrific health insurance and savings plus insurance for long term care, if it comes to that. 
4. Has already done things like purchased the plot next to where grandpa is buried, etc. and set aside all money for the funeral, etc.
5. [b]Only has a small 1BR apartment of stuff, can easily be moved out in a day. Has given away most valuables to her kids.[/b][/quote]

NP. But I don't want to do this. I want to enjoy my retirement, and enjoy the stuff I've bought that I love. And I want pets.

There has to be something in between maintaining a 3500sf home that you barely use and never clean out, and moving to a lovely, small apartment so that no one has to do much when you inevitably decline and die.

This thread has made me reevaluate what it means to me to "not be a burden to my children." We have family obligations now, and they will have them as adults. [b]This is how communities function.[/b] The complete self-sufficiency model just makes me sad.[/quote]

To those who just think...suck it up, this is how community and life works...

Think of it this way. Do you care about the health and well being of your adult children? I have watched how countless relatives and friends have gone from decent health to life threatening illness with the added stress of parents who refused to deal with reality and plan. Do you want your kid to end up in a cancer battle after your death because you were ornery and difficult and just had to have things your way every day. Do you want them to become morbidly from using food to deal with the stress of YOUR choices. Stuff is just that stuff. Relationships are the true treasures. You don't need to hoard your stuff and just expect people to take over when it's time because that's how community works. It is cruel and selfish. I don't think it's just nutrition and exercise that is causing my generation to not live as long as their parents. I think the older generation eats the younger, by outrageous expectations. Add to that people having kids later and you have a toxic sandwich.

If you want pets-that is fine, but make sure you have people they will go to just like you do with children. They are living creatures not just there to bring you joy. Don't assume your kids will take them, ask if they want them. Otherwise find a home in advance. [/quote]

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