Reply to Anyone decide to skip homework?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Generally speaking, I try to encourage my kids to do HW because I think it's the right precedent. That said, I would never fill out a reading log like that again. Ever.

We did it with my eldest and it sucked the joy of reading right away. I steered clear of that nonsense with my next two and they both love to read. In retrospect, I would talk to the teacher about it and explain why we weren't doing it. Then I would toss the stupid things where they belong.

And good for all of you people whose children never minded these. Hooray. That's great.

But for a lot of kids these things are toxic. OP, listen to your gut.[/quote]

OK. So where does "follow your gut" end? With reading logs in K only? Or if math homework practicing times tables is "sucking the joy out of math" next year, should that get ditched as well? Will writing a book report a few grades from now also be something a kid can ditch because it's annoying and mom or dad feels it doesn't teach...whatever their guts say is best?

By middle school, these kids will have learned that homework is optional and based on what they and their parents think is worthwhile. That sets a student up for real problems in MS and HS. You'll all protest that "It's only a kindergarten reading log we're talking about here!" But the early PP who brought up parental attitude was right; kids will pick up on parents' negative attitudes about homework and will carry that attitude with them. Grouse about it now in front of your kids and don't be surprised if your kids grouse about it later when it really does matter. 
[/quote]

Learning that homework isn't optional is a good thing. Most parents are wise enough to not inadvertently give their kids this idea. The key is to instill a work smart attitude in a child (in this example if homework logs aren't required in K and it clearly appears to be negative toward the child and turning it into a positive thing just isn't working, then the optimal thing is to ignore/get rid of it). Maybe give them more interesting homework to do (or in K encourage them to keep reading things they find interesting) which goes way beyond the act of filling out a detailed log about it. In short at a small age parenting is a delicate balancing act; they need to explore and have freedom to develop a love of learning, but they also badly need to learn how to develop routines, control themselves, without experiencing too much stress.

I do think though that dealing with busywork at later stages becomes harder, since it normally becomes no longer optional and at that time kids should definitely learn to cope with it to help set them up for success in middle school and beyond... however again, parents should follow their gut when it says that something is wrong. Particularly when they see kids stressed out about it, parents should absolutely find ways to help them overcome it (many options, like helping them break it down into little pieces which has a huge benefit in terms of making it a routine behavior and prevents procrastination, encourages planning... Or help show them an interesting extension to the worksheets, etc). For math, I enrich by teaching my kid after school; this will keep them sharp and interested. Which will hopefully translate into them having an easy time with any type of dry math worksheets homework if they're able to get it done quickly and out of the way, minimizing any stress.[/quote]

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