Reply to Husband needs to be better father - how to articulate, or maybe I shouldn't?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Seems a bit extreme/hyperbolic to list 5-6 admirable traits of a father/husband, and 4-5 tangible examples of co-parenting (rides, books/baths/bedtime, sports games etc.) and then go on to say “I’m just tired of being the one to have to build the family alone.”

I also think it’s a stretch (and presumptive) to assume that he’s not building an emotional bond with your children while doing everyday tasks like bedtime reading and rides to school.  Some of my fondest memories with my Dad were the “little things” like that, not necessarily the big birthday parties etc.

Lastly, you say that your husband is “responsible/hard-working/reliable/dependable/trust-worthy/intelligent” and then go on to say “…it makes me so sad to see that my kids aren't being taught by or led by a strong father-figure teaching them how to be good and loving human beings…” as if those traits don’t provide a positive example for your children?  Nobody is perfect, but he doesn't get any points for leadership in any of those categories?

It’s understandable to desire continual improvement and compatibility in certain facets of parenting, but based on the information provided and the way it is portrayed, it sounds like OP needs to look in the mirror as well.
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It sounds like there are some actual issues, but it also seems like OP has a template in her head for what a father should do and be, and her husband doesn't match it, and so she's ignoring or discounting all the things he actually does.  I don't remember my dad ever planning special outings, but I have so many wonderful memories of singing along with the radio together while driving to school, or him telling silly jokes while we ate dinner together, etc.  Those ordinary everyday moments *are* building connections and memories.  OP is really exaggerating the problem, which isn't going to be helpful in finding a solution.  [/quote]

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