Reply to Is it ok to host a birthday party but only ask a few of the kids to sleep over?

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Reply to "Is it ok to host a birthday party but only ask a few of the kids to sleep over?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD's friend did this. DD was invited to the 1st party but not the sleepover. And that's ok. You can't be best friends to everybody. If you're so sheltered how are you going to learn to cope when you go out to the real world?[/quote]

We cope by being friends with people who treat us well and moving on from people who don’t. [/quote]

This.  I am not going to teach my daughter that she should do whatever she wants, and not to care about the totally foreseeable hurt feelings she will cause, because everyone else should just suck it up and not expect to be coddled.  I want her to be a considerate person who takes other people's feelings into account when making decisions, not just her own.  I always tell her that she doesn't have to be friends with everyone, but she does have to be kind.  She doesn't have to invite everyone to her party, but creating an A-list and a B-list is just unnecessary.  This isn't about "best friends," it's about excluding five kids out of a group of eleven.

And she's learning that sometimes she'll be excluded, that sometimes other people aren't considerate, etc.  People like you make sure of it!  But I don't want her to *be* that kind of person.  And she's learning how to cope with that, how to be resilient, and how to choose friends wisely.  Which are important.  But so is learning to be kind, inclusive, and thoughtful.    [/quote]

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