Reply to Stepdaughter wants to move in full time

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Reply to "Stepdaughter wants to move in full time"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to let her move in. This is a big decision for a kid, one that can be anxiety provoking because of the potential for angering the parent they want to be with less and for being rejected by the parent they want to be with more, so many/most kids won't make a request like this unless they feel like they really need it. Also, be careful about digging into her stated reason and saying no if it turns out she's choosing to stay in her room rather than being forced to. Even if her mother and stepfather aren't forcing her to stay in her room, there may be reasons why she feels safer staying in the room (e.g., even if the stepfather hasn't done anything to her, maybe her intuition is telling her something's not right with him and she needs to keep as far from him as she can).

Her safety needs to be priority number one. [/quote]

When she’s at our house, she stays in her room on her cell phone. That’s why I feel that she’s being dramatic by saying they’re forcing her to stay in her room.[/quote]

Did you read nothing else of the post? Do you really think the possibility she's just being dramatic outweighs the possibility that she's being/is at risk of being sexually abused?[/quote]

I would think that if her issue was with her stepfather. She told DH that she likes him, but she thinks her mom has changed since she married him. Her issue is with her mom, not the stepdad.[/quote]

Don't trust that she's telling you the full truth. If the answer is she has a really bad feeling about her stepfather and doesn't feel safe around him, she may not feel like she can say that out loud. Maybe because she's afraid she won't be taken seriously, maybe because it's just an instinct and not that he's actually done anything and she doesn't feel it would be "right" to make accusations when he hasn't done anything, etc. Also, if her mom really has changed and is being emotionally abusive to her, that's not something her mom will ever admit but is something your stepdaughter needs to be protected from.

If you didn't want a stepchild, you shouldn't have married a man with a child. You chose this for yourself, now be a grown-up instead of acting like a spoiled toddler who doesn't want their toy taken away.[/quote]

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