Reply to S/O Are men born less emotional or are they conditioned to act that way?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There was an interesting exchange in another thread, talking about the differences between men and women's emotional make up. The conversation was in relation to mental health. One poster mentioned that boys are often *more* emotional until adolescence when they "turn to stone."

I've had something like this conversation with my wife about our son. He has always been a very sweet, sensitive, empathetic boy. I tell my wife that I was exactly the same when I was his age, and she asks, "what the hell happened?!" Because I give the impression of not having a wide emotional range myself and not being sensitive to the emotional states of others. Truth is, I'm still very perceptive about others' emotions, but -- having locked down expression of my own emotions -- I'm not all that sympathetic to the emotions of others. (I'm maybe empathetic but not sympathetic.) Locking down my own emotions was made necessary by getting endless amounts of shit about being a crybaby or timid or shy when I was young. That was the stick. The carrot was probably my perception that the tough guys were popular and well regarded.

Now I'm hopeful that my son will have a wider emotional range than I feel comfortable letting on to. I've certainly tried to be conscientious about giving him space to feel concerned or scared or anxious or any other way he happened to feel, because I'm still a little pissed (anger was always permissible) at my parents for trying to toughen me up. I mean, I'm plenty tough emotionally -- I ended up becoming a litigator, I think in part as overcompensation for being ashamed of being conflict averse as a kid. I went ahead and made conflict my livelihood.

Anyway, I was curious if anyone else has had similar experiences, either personally or raising kids. And, do you think it's healthy to repress emotions because it makes you tougher; or do you end up leading a less happy life because of it? (That kind of wandered away from the question I put in my title, but I'll leave it that way.)[/quote]

Ha ha I wish men were less emotional. My DH has tantrums like a toddler.[/quote]

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