Reply to Uneven allocation of estate between two adult children. Is my allocation fair?

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[quote=Anonymous]My dad has a child from his second marriage who is almost 20 years younger than me and my other sibling. My half-brother has some significant LDs, and although he is now married and self-supporting, he has a lot of trouble finding and holding jobs and is unlikely to ever achieve more than a modest income. (Of course, we could be wrong about that, but he is now in his 30s so odds are high). I make a very comfortable income and my other sibling does as well, and a few years ago our dad sat us down and said he and our stepmother are planning to distribute $ in their wills roughly 50% to our half-sib with learning issues and 25% each to my other sibling and me, on the grounds that a) our half-sib is younger and will have more "parentless" years than we did, since he was born to much older parents, and b) he is unlikely to every make as much money as we do, and c) we will inherit some money (presumably) from our mother, his ex wife.

I have sort of mixed feelings. On the one hand I totally get it and agree: I don't "need" the money and my half-sib, a sweet guy who really struggles with his issues, probably will need it. I also have never felt "entitled" to any inheritance. But on the other hand I have to admit it hurts a little. It's stupid and I try really hard to rise above it, but it does trigger some old jealousies and resentments. My other brother and I grew up pretty poor and lived with our mother after our parents got divorced, and though our dad was always very present in our lives, we did not live with him, whereas our half-sibling, born when we were adults, lived with our dad in a nuclear family and had a much more affluent childhood than we did. I do struggle not to feel hurt.

I guess overall I wish my dad would just divvy up whatever there is 1/3 to each of us, and trust that my brother and I will help our less-able half-sib as needed. We have both already helped him a lot financially: letting him stay with us for extended periods, giving him pretty large cash gifts to help out, and so on. We are both close to him and would always be there to help, just as our parents have been, if he ever needs it.

but at the end of the day: I love my dad and love our brother, so... nothing we can't get past.[/quote]

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