Reply to DH has been having an emotional affair, blames me for it and his drinking

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[quote=Anonymous]Al-Anon for sure.

I went (and I had a therapist) as an adult because both of my parents were alcoholics.

When you grow up with parents who do this, you see situations through a weird lens.
For example, not expecting to leave with the parent.

My dad would stay at restaurants. As a teen, I pretended I wanted to stay so I could drive him home.
Loved the dude, but it was upside down.

I would worry when my parents went out of they would make it home.
My brother and I would talk about who we would live with when my parents died.

When we had a babysitter I would not go to sleep because I worried that they would die on the way home.

When my dad would try to quit drinking, he would get angry and we didn't understand why, but there were 2 versions of him.

It would help your kids to have someone to talk to about this, but only when you are ready to take action.

My mom quit 1st and took a class to learn how to do the intervention and to prepare herself and us to make it happen.

It involved organizing money and be prepared for divorce.

They have many happy years together after that.

Also, make sure you don't have 2 glasses of wine and wonder why he had 6 beers.

Have none.

When you find an AL Anon group, make sure they work for you, socially. I went in DC and had a hard time with the fact someone in the meeting later asked me for change on the street.
My therapist said to to try a suburb, because of context, and not to feel bad about being a snob.

Good luck.

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