Reply to Boyfriend still supporting ex-wife

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. There are a ton of people commenting who are not comprehending the information in my post. And no, I am not desperate to marry this man, been there and done that, so I understand what a marriage entails.

Yes, after  3 years, we have discussed our finances and I do know the details.  It sounds like a lot of you are still upset or angry over your own divorces or in poor financial situations after your divorces.

The issues that we are having are normal for a logical progression of a relationship. [/quote]

They are certainly normal issues. However, it is also normal for some divorced spouses to still have financial entanglements when there are children involved. I posted earlier that a gracious way to address these issues you are having would be to discuss the structure of the current arrangement and determine how much longer it will continue. That will give you a lot more answers than anyone here can provide.

As for the progression of your relationship, I think that it's reasonable to hope for both spouses to come into the marriage as free of entanglements as possible. If you are not comfortable with your money being used for this purpose, then that's something you should state up front. Consider not mingling finances, since it sounds like you both have kids from previous marriages and it may be difficult for you to agree on how to pay for those kids' expenses. What happens if he disagrees with something you want to do for your kids? Will your larger income be the deciding factor in that disagreement?

Also, what is his employment situation? It sounds like maybe he should try to find a job that pays more.[/quote]

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