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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]14:47 here. The main point of my story is that people who get cut off tend to minimize their wrongdoings. And people who are private and do the cutting off don’t always like to air their dirty laundry.

They were emotionally abusive to me and my sister all our lives, but like many abuse victims I tried to be a better daughter and please them so maybe they’d finally love me. They treated my kids like royalty so I never thought they’d be cruel to them like they had been to my sister and me. But then they f’ed with my kid and I realized the only way to break the cycle was to end contact. Fortunately my kids have better parents than I had and they realized immediately how inappropriate the situation was and asked to be removed from it. It took me 40 years. [/quote]

Dear PP, *virtual hug*.  I'd do the same thing in your boat.  You are a wonderful parent.  I just thought you should know that, as speaking from experience it can sometimes feel wrong when a bunch of people are all constantly asking when you'll reconcile.  Keep being a great rock for your kid.  They are so lucky you're their parents.    [/quote]

Thank you. It’s not exactly a new feeling for me, but sometimes I’m still taken aback that a stranger can be kinder and more supportive to me than my own mother. When I was little, I just assumed everyone’s mom was mean at home and nice in public. My awakening came when I had kids and I realized that’s not how a loving mom treats her kids.

I think in previous generations, it was harder to cut people off, especially if you lived near each other. It’s shocking to people like my mother because she put up with worse abuse from her parents and she stuck around. She’s legitimately a better parent than them (it’s a low bar), albeit still abusive, so she doesn’t get why I can’t tolerate what she doles out. It’s her turn to be the matriarch and I’ve taken that away from her, so I must be the irrational one. [/quote]

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