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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I just wanted to say I am sorry. This sounds really hard on many different levels. My Mom died when she was 66 of mucosal melanoma. I had a couple of months to get used to her being gone - and then she was. I know she was scared but she put on a brave front. At age 91, your Dad can’t bounce back like someone younger and I would encourage you to take some time off work and be with him. It sounds like his body is preparing him for transition (I don’t remember the words hospice used but fevers and falling and vomiting - his body is for lack of a better word - failing).

I was pregnant when my Mom was sick and I did not take time to be with her as much as I should have. I had some pregnancy complications and I was saving leave for postpartum. It’s a huge regret of mine but it was so hard to see my Mom frail and incoherent. So I also avoided it.

I just wanted to encourage you to spend time with your Dad now if you can. Hope your work trip is short and you’re home soon. Sending strength.

[/quote]

Thank you for this. I’m so sorry about how things happened with your mom and I hope you’re doing ok. My dad is doing much better - fever gone, appetite coming back and back to his upbeat, cheerful self. He is currently trying to bribe everyone who comes into his room into letting him go home.

With a new diagnosis of CHF there’s a few days of hospitalization even when someone is stabilizing, and I’m grateful for  though he wants to go home) because it is giving us time to figure out what to do. Since it is the weekend we haven’t really had any contact yet with a geriatrician - apparently they’ll be the ones who help us figure out home care, hospice, etc depending on his prognosis.

To the PP just above this with the 86 yo Mom, I am thinking of you and hope things are ok. Part of what has been so “easy” to this point is that my mom is still so active, healthy and capable at her age. But it’s unrealistic and unfair to her to expect her to keep up this superhuman level of strength and I know she needs help or else her health will be compromised.

Thanks again to everyone who has weighed in, you’re all really kind and your words mean a lot.[/quote]

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