Reply to Is "I'm not ready for a serious relationship" a year after divorce plausible?

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Reply to "Is "I'm not ready for a serious relationship" a year after divorce plausible?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, here’s the thing, which I think has already been made pretty clear on this thread: a divorce leaves you reeling. After 20 years with the same partner, your world is shaken when it ends, especially if you weren’t the one that initiated. He may feel insecure about himself, insecure about you, insecure about a lot of things. I’m assuming he might have been pretty young when he got married, so there also may be honestly some degree of wanting to “snow wild oats”, that’s different than a player.. he just needs time to do what he hasn’t yet.

If it’s not working for you, that is also fine. He’s not handing you a line... after 20 years, he really needs healing time. The first year of separation can be a time of huge pain, legal fights, etc. So I don’t count it in the same way I would count the years after.

Don’t leave it open. Just close it. You’re not doing either of you any favours saying to come back once he has his head together. If it’s not working, you just need to both move on. He needs to not feel like he failed someone else other than his wife, and you need to feel that you are worth what yiu want, without waiting for it.

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